2012 December - "Happy 3rd Birthday, Finny!"

 December 2, 2012

 Today was Finny's 3rd birthday and daddy surprised him with a 'Capt'n 'merica' cake which he made himself.  What a good papa!!!  He loved it! 

Birthday boy, Phineas!

Had to get a quick pic of him in the birthday hat!

...aaaaand a quick pic of him with his hand in his pants...

Sparkler candles are so fun!

Cousin Carson, also age 3, helping Finn blow out the candles.

Jaren getting excited about the present...

... Carson was getting excited when Finny opened presents, too!

Carson was making the FUNNIEST faces and freaking out with excitement over Finn's toys!  We were all laughing so hard!

 LOVE YOU SWEET BOY!  HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY!

2012 - Jaren's Christmas concert (PreK)

 December 2012

Tonight Jaren had his first concert at school!  I bought him and Finn matching sweater vests for church for Christmas, which I never do the matchy matchy thing as it usually costs an arm and a leg, but I thought he'd look so cute in it for his concert.  This is the response I get, "I look bogus.  The kids are all gonna laugh at me!"  I thought he looked pretty cool myself.

Jaren and a little friend got to be reindeer while they sang 'Rudolf, the Red nosed Reindeer'.  He requests this song every night when we sing at bedtime.  Finny always requests 'Jingle Bells'... usually the Batman smells version.

The kids all looked so cute!

Our family

Jaren and his teacher, Mrs. B.

Jaren and Grandma

2012 - December randoms

  We haven't had much of a winter to speak of... not much snow at least.  It's nice for me because it takes FOREVER to bundle them up!  The first snowfall only barely covered the lawn, but of course they wanted to go out and play!  I put water in some spray bottles and added a few drops of food coloring to them so they could have a little more fun outside.  They made small snowballs and tried to make a snowman, but didn't have much luck.  The snow was PERFECT for making snowballs.  Jaren kept throwing them at the side of the house.  Practicing for baseball next summer, I'm sure!

Phineas, age 3 and Jaren, age 5

Jaren

Phineas

 Getting ready for Christmas.  It took us a while to finally set up the tree and decorations this year.  I just wasn't feeling it, but I knew we had to do it for the kids.

Eden with her evil pointed candy cane.

Spiderman... er... Phineas decorating the Christmas tree.  This was one of Ollie's favorite traditions.

Our friend made us this funny ornament of a guy in red pajamas with the butt flap hanging open!

Jaren must have been cold and I think that is actually Finny's coat he's got on!

A tad aggressive... but brotherly love just the same.  Is that how it always is with brothers?

Eden's got Finny in some sort of sleeper hold and I'm not sure he's down with that.

Eden and Jaren performing some Cirque du Soleil of somesort!

Hmmmm...

 Gingerbread men... a new Christmas tradition.  I've always wanted to try making gingerbread men and so finally this year we did.  The kids had fun decorating them, but I burned half of them... oops.

Finn and Jaren

Decorating is serious business!

'Sunburned Sally' is up in the top left.  That was one of Eden's.

Loved this one of Eden's... the hula girl with the grass skirt and coconut bra!

Jaren, age 5

Phineas, age 3

Rub a dink dink... who is that cutie boy in the sink?!

Love their serious faces!  Jaren said, "Mom, we are underwear superheroes!"

Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.  This kid wants me to sing the Spiderman theme song nearly every night before bed!

Oliver's grave for Christmas

2012 December update

It's been a long while since I've posted anything on here.  Most days go by and I try to keep myself busy with things... having 3 kids still here is a lot of work and helps to keep me numb.  I know that sounds horrible, but at times it's the only way to get through the day.  I do find joy in each day.  The kids make me laugh and we still talk about Oliver.  I want them to remember him.  It's hard because you don't want to make an altar to a child that has passed, but you also don't want your kids to forget him.  I have photos up of him because that is the only way I see him now.  He doesn't come through the front door after school anymore or walk in the kitchen and ask what we are having for dinner.  His pictures are a visual reminder for me and everyone that enters my home that he lived and that he is still here in spirit.

The other day Ed and I went to see the movie 'Lincoln' in the theater and Abe and Mary were arguing over the death of one of their sons and talking about grief.  Abraham said that he wanted to crawl into the ground with his son's casket.  I just started sobbing.  I knew that feeling too well and it was only 9 months since his death.  Too soon... still so raw.  I just couldn't stop crying.  You just never know when it's going to hit.

Oliver keeps sending me signs in the shape of hearts.  Some may just laugh them away, but I truly think they are from him and not just here by accident.  It helps me, so who cares how it got there... I suppose.  There have been more kids dying each day from DIPG and it makes me sick to my stomach.  I decorated Ollie's grave for Halloween and now Christmas and it makes me sick to think that most people are out buying their child a costume or a gift and I'm picking out things to take to my son's grave.  I don't think it will ever feel right.

I need to start updating more.  I'm still playing catchup with tons of pictures... so keep checking back.
Thank you for still thinking of us and praying for us.  I know Ollie is around, although I physically can't see or feel him.  He's still here watching over us.