I feel like I'm drowning and people are just standing on the shore watching me struggle. Most days I can keep myself busy and try not to think about how I'm truly feeling, but when the day ends and I can't seem to fall asleep that is when the thoughts creep in. I find that I'm becoming more hard-hearted toward people and I don't want to be. I wish that life could just go back to the way it was. I had my few close friends that I could stop by unannounced and chat for hours or go out with to unwind when life was getting to be stressful. I want my comfort zone back. I want my fun friends back. I want to hang out again and laugh and forget about the days problems. Yes, I can talk about things with my counselor, but it's just not the same as hanging out with a close friend.
I just feel so disconnected from the outside world. I used to go out for girl's nights all the time and hang out, but now I feel like a hermit being home every single day. I'm being pulled in so many directions and trying to fill everyone else's needs that mine are never being met. I have no time for myself which is starting to wear me down.