Thanksgiving 2010

We celebrated Thanksgiving with Ed's parents and youngest brother and his family today. We ate a bunch and played some games. I haven't been feeling well on and off the past couple of weeks so Ed made some stuffing which was actually REALLY good! The recipe was on the back of the stuffing box and had cheese, broccoli and sausage in it. It was a good day.

Thanksgiving with it's tradition of counting your blessings and being grateful for what we have has really hit home with me this year. It is amazing what we take for granted when we don't seem to be going through any big trials. Last year at this time, we had a scare with Ollie and looking back on the situation that happened, proved to be a symptom of his growing brain tumor.

Ed's sister and her family were visiting from Texas for Thanksgiving. The younger kids were sitting at the smaller 'kids table' in the kitchen and the rest of us were close by in the dining room. Oliver started to choke on some turkey and Ed rushed over to him to help. After the whole fiasco that seemed to last forever, Ollie just laughed it off. I could tell he was a bit embarrassed. Decreased ability to swallow is one of the symptoms that we didn't recognize until after he was diagnosed just a month later.

This is a difficult time filled with mixed emotions as we think about the year mark coming up on his diagnosis. The holidays are supposed to be filled with happiness and joy and right now I'm filled with anxiety and sadness for what is to come. Trying to find the joy for my kiddos.

Once you join the world of cancer... you remember 'dates'.

December 23, 2009 - Oliver's MRI and diagnosis -- worst day of my life thus far

December 31, 2009 - Oliver begins his 6 weeks of radiation therapy -- "Happy New Year" with a headache and vomiting.

February 11, 2010 - Ollie's final radiation treatment

???,??? - Find out the tumor has increased in size
???,??? - Begin 2nd round of radiation
???,??? - Final radiation treatment

???,??? - Oliver's passing and subsequent funeral date.

It's very difficult to try and remain unaffected during the days and months that go by. We need to enjoy him while he is still here. WE ALL need to enjoy our kids and make memories with them, even if they are healthy and strong, because they will remember the things you did with them and the feelings they felt when you were around. This is making me a better parent. We have the ability to look within ourselves and see what needs to be changed and then change what we can. What a blessing it is to be given insights on how we can better ourselves for ourselves as well as our families.

Please keep several families of children that have recently passed around the holidays in your heart and in your prayers. Prayer does help... it gives us energy and the will to keep going when you don't think that you can take one more step or say one more thing.

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